Having arrived from my spontaneous trip today I wished to write about the wonder experiences and times that I shared with some amazing people. However, upon arrival the day very quickly started to unravel, and not in a good way. Usually when I get back from a holiday or a trip there one of two things that go through my mind. The first being glad to be back home, whether it be because the trip was bad or that you did not enjoy the trip. The second being not so glad to be back home, whether it be because I had such a great time, or because home is not the place I wish to be. The latter thought was the one plaguing my brain today, and combined with a number of other negative “Welcome Home” experiences, I was missing the place I had just come from even more.
There are positive things I have learned from my spontaneous trip that I wish to share, and I wished to share them today. However, after the way today went I don’t feel my heart would be in the writing and I would not give the stories the justice they deserved. The things that I learned and the things that I felt on my trip were beautiful, and I won’t have a bad day taint my words and lace my message with negativity. Today I just feel like ranting and cursing the sky however I feel that energy would be better unleashed upon some lovely 20kg iron plates tomorrow.
A challenge to myself was to post something every day, whatever was on my mind. Whether the topic or post was good, crap, received well, or received unwell. The reasoning behind it was to reduce the amount of perfectionism that was restricting me from action. At the same time I do wish to extend my thinking and writing beyond that of what I learn and see on a day to day basis. And some experiences are so positive and life changing that you do not have a personal posting challenge on your mind. You are in the moment, soaking it up in its glorious entirety. And some experiences teach you so many things that cannot be expressed in a single post. Some experiences are so beautiful that you wish to share every detail of the moment out of respect for that moment. This is one of those times. I will be writing about my trip, however this is something I feel needs a bit more tender, love and care invested into it, instead of dishing out a rush job for the sake of it. Also, it deserves to be written in its purest form, that is, without influence or negative bias that the external environment is producing.
One thing that I did learn however is to slow down a little, and to take things in. I’m from a place where everything and everyone is moving so fast. And if you are not moving fast you are yelled or honked at. You are made to feel anxious because you are not moving at the speed that someone else feels that you should. And I feel this is one of those times. This time I will not be pressured into rushing something I don’t wish to rush even if the one pressuring me is myself. I will take my time. I will slow down. I will be less anxious about it and I will speak to my stressed out and anxious self and tell him breathe and be patient.
I’m excited to share my experiences with you. I look forward to the future.
– Sash
Sash Mindflow 