People can hold you back, but they can also raise you to new heights you never thought possible. People can hold you back, but that is only if you let them do so. Often I hear people say how much they want to do something. They speak of this something with such passion. They are so happy and excited to just talk about it. Their face lights up, their words become energised and laced with joy.
Passion-talk faces!
“So why don’t you go and try that?”
Stunned silence. The only thing you hear is distilled chirping of a cricket riding a tumbleweed in the wind.
“Oh, you know.” Insert a string of excuses here. And in an instant, they are no longer a happy as they were. Their faces dim down, their words become lethargic, laced with uncertainty, doubt, and if I’m not mistaken, regret as well. It seems as like something or someone has influenced them and this has prevented them from pursuing something that brings the life out of them and that makes them unhappy.
I remember quite vividly a time when I expressed an idea to someone very close to me, and whose opinion I held quite high. I was very passionate about this idea and had been thinking on it for quite some time. Unfortunately my idea was negatively met with doubt and disbelief as they did not see how I was going to do it or sustain doing it. And sure enough I didn’t end up pursuing it. One year passes and I just bit the bullet and pursued my idea. I have to admit I was very angry when I did, but not with the person who didn’t initially support my idea, but with myself. I was angry with myself for letting someone else negatively influence something that I really wanted to do. I let someone else’s doubt allow me to doubt myself. If it had been a random person I may have not been persuaded so easily, but it is a little harder to hear it from a person who you regard as important influential spectator of your life. More often than not it’s the small things that these important people do or don’t do that can hit your heart the most.
But the way I see it now, being doubtful or responding negatively to an idea is just another way of telling me that you don’t think I can do it. This blog was actually started somewhat in spite of one of my friends glibly reminding me about how a previous project of mine never came to fruition. I can’t be angry with that friend, because that was the push that I needed to get this thing started. Now I know that might seem somewhat hypocritical of me in the sense that I do care about what someone has said, and therefore it has affected me in some way. However, instead of stopping me from pursuing an idea, it has driven me all the more to achieve it.
At the end of the day it is my decision and I have decided to care less about what other people think. This isn’t to say that I don’t care at all, because constructive criticism and feedback is a good thing. If you don’t care at all, you cut yourself off from everyone else’s opinions and I do not feel this is a step forward in the right direction. Other people can offer you perspectives outside of your own that you could miss just because you are so far into it it’s harder for you to take a step back. However history repeats itself, and I wind up in the same moment again and I receive the same negative response, then I am not going to hesitate to ignore them and prove them wrong. No matter who they are. It doesn’t matter if they are important people, my parents, my siblings, my friends. They are free to have their opinions, but I won’t let negative comments sway me from doing what I want to do with my life. It’s my life and I’m allowed to be selfish in this way. I’m sure they might mean well, and they might be thinking they are protecting you from future failure, but that is because they might not see your vision. They might be from another generation and their line of thinking might be so ancient in comparison, so they wouldn’t understand and as a result they project their own doubts onto you. And if the person doesn’t mean well, they can go suck on a lemon. If they are flat out stating you can’t do something it probably means that they themselves have been held back in their own live and in order for them to feel good about themselves, they want to bring you down to their level. These are the people I will choose to ignore and disregard. In my opinion, I think it is worse to not try something than to try something and fail at it. At least if you fail you come back stronger and smarter from the experience.
You cannot please everyone in the world, and nor should you have to. If you have that idea that you are passionate about. If it makes you happy. If you cannot stop thinking about it, talking about it, fantasising about it and dreaming about it. Go through with it, and regret nothing. It will never happen if you don’t physically start making it happen. Even if it doesn’t work out the way you might have originally envisioned, as least you had the courage to make the decision yourself and not let someone else sway your passion.
Now, I love it when someone tells me that I cannot do something. Such a pleasure it is to prove them wrong. It’s like the moment someone says “Ha! I bet you can’t do that”, you call upon a Rocky-esque montage and your motivation to prove them wrong goes into overdrive. I thrive on that kind of challenge. That’s what makes me do my best.
So come on! Tell me I can’t do something. I dare you! *Waits to cue the montage music*
“I double dare you!”
– Sash
Sash Mindflow 