Please, Judge Me By My Looks. I Really Appreciate it!

Said no self-respecting person, ever!

“Don’t judge a book by its cover”. A well known quote that offers wisdom that is unfortunately not practiced as much as it should be. We all know not to judge a book by its cover, right? Right? RIGHT? For those unfamiliar with this quote, it is saying not to judge something by its face value. Its face value being what you can see on the outside, the exterior surface, like a book cover. The reason why we should not judge something purely based on what we can visually see, is because we neglect and more often than not, miss out on what is on the inside. And what is on the inside of a person or object  is what we should be basing our judgement on. That is where the true value of something lies.

“Yeah, you like that glossy finish on my hard cover, don’t you?”

EXAMPLES (because everyone loves examples).

Let’s go with something that I have never ever talked about before: the gym (HA! FOOLED YOU SUCKER). The gym is a prime location for were judging physical appearance occurs. There is so much hollow judging going on in the gym they should implement a Courtroom section to compliment the Cardio and Weight sections.

Pretend you are walking in a gym. You are subject to people of many shapes and sizes. Let’s say you see a smoking hot female, or a handsome stud doing their thing. What are your thoughts? Let’s say you see a skinny, anorexic looking person. Let’s say you see a normal looking person. Let’s say you see an obese person. What about an old person? What are your immediate thoughts of these characters that you are eye raping (and hopefully for not too long, you weirdo stalker)? A common judgement for the attractive female or male is “Look at that skank/bimbo” or “Look at the muscle head. His brain is obviously in his biceps”. Another one is “Oh, all they do is workout. They have no life”, or my personal favourite “Oh, they have always been skinny/muscular.”

Those who know me know that I was an overweight child, and the kids at school made sure I remembered that every single day. Those who know me know I got into running in a big way to lose weight, and then that progressed into weight training. Those who really know me know I stay lean because I pre-cook my meals, and weigh everything I eat to the gram. They know I will bring my own food to parties while other chow on barbecue meat-lovers pizzas (my favourite). Those who really  know me know the preparation, the disciple, and the work that goes behind it all. When I see a guy or girl with visibly showing abdominal muscles, I don’t just see a person with abdominal muscles. I see discipline. I see drive. I see purpose and focus. I see these things because I know what is required to get to that lean. It is not easy. I see the work behind those abdominals. I see beyond the physical, and my judgements are based off of that.

Discipline + Persistence!

Now judgements are going to vary depending on the person doing the judging, that is a given, but there is going to be judging in one form or another. Whether it be through jealous, envious, intimidated, irrational, understanding, empathetic  eyes makes no difference. The big difference is what your judgements are based off of. You wouldn’t buy a car without looking under the hood first, would you? You wouldn’t buy a book without reading the blurb or the introductory pages. You wouldn’t eat a food whose quality and freshness you question. So why would people be any different?

You see that fit girl? Maybe the reason she is so fit right now is because she used to be teased at school because she was fat. What about that muscular man? Maybe he trains because it keeps his anger and depression in check. Maybe that person walking slowly across the pedestrian crossing doesn’t feel like walking any faster so you can get to your red traffic light sooner because someone in their family just died. Maybe that obese person was born with an under active thyroid gland and just thinking about food makes them gain weight. Maybe that guy with the hideously scared face saved another person from a burning house. Maybe that grumpy old man is grumpy because he has no control over his deteriorating health. Maybe that…. I think we get the point.

Maybe this guy isn’t a guy!

We have no idea what is happening in another person’s life and we have no right to judge or make assumptions about people we do not actually know about. ESPECIALLY when judgments are based off of face value (what we can physically see). People’s actions gives us more insight into a person but even then we are limited to knowing the reasons behind the actions. Therefore we have no right to make judgements or assumptions about anyone but ourselves. If you  judge people, I invite you to take a second to reflect about the kind of person you are, or you think that you are. Is physical appearance an important contributing factor to the company that you keep? Or is it the internal substance, the morals and beliefs of a person that you find truly valuable?

If people judge you by your looks, then” great” I say. If people are displeased with the way I look and don’t communicate or associate with me because of it, then that’s awesome. Those are the types of people that I do not wish to attract anyway. Those who summon the courage to talk to me, to go beyond the exterior to  talk to me, and get to really know me (and like it) are the people I wish to be surrounded by.

I think it is a real shame that so many judge off of face value. When I go out with my friends, I often look around the venue at all the people and wonder how many great conversations and interactions are not happening between people because they cannot look past the physical? Somebody’s soul mate might be in that very room but because they couldn’t look past their shallow, judging eyes they missed out on their opportunity.

This could be my soulmate. I’ll never know.

So before you form an opinion of someone else, try to see beyond what is right in front of you. You might find that a great story lies within its pages.

– Sash

P.S. Take pleasure in those moments when someone says “Oh, I didn’t know that about you.” Because at that moment, some ones judgement of you just changed. It’s a delicious feeling.

What if money didn’t matter?

Going through my old favourite Youtube videos and I come across a liberating piece spoken by the philosopher Alan Watts. Let me summon it for you. BOOM!

For those too lazy to saturate their ear holes for three minutes, or who are unable to view this because their mobile device doesn’t have Java or someone, here is what this wise man had to share with all of us.

He poses the question:

“What if money was no object?”

In other words, what if money did not matter? If money was not the deciding factor in how you lived your life, what would you be doing with it? Naturally, this got me thinking. What in the hell would I be doing if money was no object, if money didn’t matter? Now my brain is flying through all the things I enjoy doing. Flying through all the childhood dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up (HA! like that would ever happen). When you are a child you have no idea of the concept of money, so you spend your time doing things that you enjoy doing. And when you are not doing those things, you are unhappy. Ask a group of children what they want to be and I’m sure you will probably get yells of “A PRINCESS”, “A FIREMAN”, “AN ASTRONAUT”, “A SINGER”, “AN ARTIST”. Now ask a group adults the same question. What do you think they would yell out? (probably nothing, because yelling is RUDE).

“A BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!”

Mr Watts asks you personal questions like “What makes you itch?”, “What sort of situation would you like?” and “How would you really enjoy spending your life?”. I invite you to think about those questions. Personally, the way I would spend my life is to life weights, play video games, and be with my friends and family. That is pretty much it. I might dabble in some art, reading and philosophy but those four things are pretty much it. I don’t need luxury houses with big swimming pools, luxury cars that can fly, or big travelling trips. Weight training, gaming, and friends and family are the things that make me the most happy, therefore I wish the majority of my day (and life) to consist of those things.

NOW! From those three questions I cannot imagine many people saying that money makes them itch. That making money is how they would enjoy spending their lives. That making money is their passion. And if it is, and if it’s true then great. Keep working your magic my friend. But I think for the majority of people, their desires lie elsewhere. Mr Watts says, and I quote “If you say getting the money is the most important thing, then you are wasting your life. Because you are spending time doing things you don’t like doing, in order to go on living, that is, to keep doing things you don’t like doing. Which is stupid!”. This really slapped me in the face. It is so obvious isn’t it? We all know it, it’s just we don’t actually take action. It’s like people who are unhealthy because they are overweight. We all know that too much fast food is bad for your health. We know that cigarettes are bad us. And yet, we still do it anyway. It’s not a lack of knowledge. It’s a lack of application of said knowledge.

And just quickly since I mentioned smoking, I think it is the most stupid thing in the world. Why? Because you are spending your most precious commodity (time) making money (which isn’t your desire) just so you can smoke, which gives you even less time because smoking is killing you, AND that time that you do have left is of poorer quality. Blows my mind. Mini rant over.

I pose another question to thee that is inspired by Mr Watts. Is it better to have a short life doing the things you enjoy doing, or a long life doing things you don’t like doing? I don’t know about you, but if I died under a barbell at the gym, I would die happy. If I died in the company of my friends or family, I would die happy. Why? Because I was doing the things that made me happy, right to the end.

Alan Watts: Likes it short and sweet, not long and boring (like this blog post)

So in the end, what really matters is what you desire. Mr Watts asks you to ask yourself the question, “What do I desire?”. Ask yourself that question and think about it right now. Write down all the things that you desire from this life. Stop reading, grab a pen and paper (or open up a Word program) and write them down. Write down all the things that you desire from this life, and forget the money. And for those who cannot forget the money, I ask you to ask yourself the same question in a different way. “What would you be doing with your life if everyone earned the same amount of money, no matter what they did?”

Why is this important? Why is it important to know what you desire? Well if you had no desire to do anything then you would have no direction. Why do you get up in the morning?  Where is your energy going? Where is your passion going? Where is your time going? Well you have no desire, therefore you have no direction, and therefore your energy, passion and time is going nowhere. It is being wasted. Because it is going nowhere, nothing is happening. But if you have a desire to have something, then all of a sudden you have a target. You have a direction to funnel your talents, your passions, your effort, your time. Life doesn’t just seem like meaningless drudgery because you are working towards your desire. And remember a desire is something you want, and what you want is something that is going to make you happy. Why would you waste your life doing things that you don’t like doing, in order to go on “living”, so you can keep doing the things you don’t like doing?

If I had the opportunity to talk to a younger me I would tell him to be whatever he desires to be. I’d tell him to not let others control the way you choose your own path because they will most likely try to mould you into a similar path that they took, or trick you into doing something that you don’t really want to do, even if they have the best intentions. I’d tell him not to be influenced by what you thought people wanted you to be, even if that was your teacher, friends or parents. I’d tell him to live life on his terms and do what makes him happy, not what makes others happy. I’d tell him to be selfish in that respect because it is his life and he has the final say. What authority does anyone else have to tell someone else how to live their lives?

I’d tell him to pick ANY of the things he enjoyed to do and just do it, even if you don’t know how you will survive off of it. At least you were doing something you enjoyed, and one day you would become a master of it. And the world is so big that I’m sure others share the same interests as you, and therefore will be willing to pay you for it. And don’t worry whether it’s the “right” or the best choice. If it doesn’t work you have your whole life ahead of you to do a multitude of things. You’re 18 years old and you might have several careers. A career from 18 to 25. From 25 to 35. 35 to 45. 45 to 55. 55 to 65 and beyond. Look how many careers you could possibly have, and that’s assuming they last for 10 years, which they might not. Look how much time you have buddy. So just pick something you enjoy and roll with it, and when you want to change it up, pick the next thing you enjoy at the time.

“GO BE AWESOME, YOUNGER ME!”

I don’t know how common this line of thinking  is with the younger generation. With the pressures of school, and the pressures of walking the path that has been laid out for them. it’s no wonder so many people are unhappy where they are because their parents or superiors have taught them to think this way. Go to primary school so you can go to high school, so you can go to university to get a degree, so you can get a job, so you can pay off your education. Then buy a house, get married, have kids, and teach them to do the exact thing. I just hope that degree and job were in the realm of things that they genuinely enjoyed doing. I know if I ever have kids, I will not be pressuring them live their lives how I would like them to live them. If their desire is collecting rubbish, making pottery, farming, emergency rescue support, or working in a box factory, and they enjoy doing those things in their life then that’s excellent. You go girlfriend/manfriend.

So what is your desire?

– Sash

Living Life in the Limbo Lane!

Limbo.

That strange and depressing feeling that you get when you feel that you are alive, but are not living. You are just existing in time and space. You’re moving but standing still and going nowhere. You feel like you are not controlling what is happening around you. Something else is controlling you to do things, or even worse, not do things. You feel guilty everyday about not accomplishing as much as you think you should. You compare yourself to others who are doing something with their lives and you envy them. They might not be happy but they are at least doing something. Better to be unhappy doing something than unhappy doing nothing, right? At least by doing something you are exposing yourself to the elements of life that might spark that one idea that could change everything. Just the action of giving your physical body to the world, to other people, and to other experiences seems like a step in the right direction. All these great characters in movies start from somewhere and it isn’t until they have this life big adventure that things in their life start moving

We should blaze this trail!

.Have you ever watched a movie, and wish that you were a character in that world? Sure the characters might live in a dangerous environment but their lives are filled with drive, direction, meaning, and purpose. They are having the adventure of their lives where they learn about themselves and the world, and come back as different people, for better or for worse. I know I have wished to be a character in so many worlds. I wished to be a Samurai after watching “The Last Samurai”. To commit myself to a life of discipline, to master my art and to be at peace with my body, mind and spirit. I wished to be a Pokemon trainer and have adventures with my dragon Pokemon companions. To fly to different places, battle other Pokemon trainers, defeat gym leaders and be the very best (like no one ever was).  I wished to be a wizard in the Harry Potter universe, to hone my skills, teach others the ways of magic and be known as a wise wizard. I wished I was the ability to bend earth, water, fire or air like Ang or Korra in the Avatar series.  I wished I had the power to teleport anywhere at will like Nightcrawler in X-men, or like Hayden Christensen in “Jumper”. I could be atop Mount Everest in the morning, Okinawa Japan at lunch, and Rio De Janeiro at night.

Want to go to Egypt now? Give me two seconds to get my coat!

The closest I’ve become to being someone else was in the virtual world of Azeroth in the Warcraft Universe. World of Warcraft was the opportunity to be someone else. The opportunity for a fresh start where no one knew who you were, what you looked like, what your age or gender was, what your occupation was, what your education was. None of that mattered. You were your in-game avatar and nothing else mattered. You had the chance to be a brave warrior, a cunning rogue or an intelligent mage to name a few. What you think you lacked in the real world could be personified in the character that you played. If you were not a brave and strong person you would have the opportunity to be one in the game. You even had a story to follow, and an adventure to embark on where you would decide how your adventure unfolded. You would fight great foes in dangerous dungeons with other great warriors being piloted by other real life people around the world. Friendships would develop and you would go on adventures together and have great stories to tell, even if it was in a world of pixels. I think from all of this it, is lack of adventure that it making me so depressed. The lack of the “new”. I don’t know at what point that I stopped wanting to experience new things and stop learning. To just go through life being content and thinking that what I knew was enough to get by and that I had experienced all that life had to offer.

I have never traveled out of my country of birth: Australia. I have spent all 25 years of my life on this island with no interest in travel, at least that is what I have been telling myself. When people talk of travel the first thing that comes to my mind is wondering how much it cost. What does this cost, what does that cost? A person I used to know told me many times that I should just travel, it does not matter where. Because there I will be experiencing things that I would not have otherwise been exposed to and I will most likely see life and myself in a different perspective.

This year I will be travelling for the first time. I will be going to Spain and will be partaking in the pilgrimage known as the El Camino de Santiago. I am in no shape or form religious but I feel a good thirty to forty days of just walking will give me a great opportunity to reflect, meet new people and just have an adventure for the first time in my life. Maybe it might even be better than the ones in the movies that I watch. Who knows?  I think it is adventure that I yearn for. I think this is what I need, and I’m going to make it happen.

ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!

– Sash

It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s your big fat ego!

I summon the definition of “ego” from the reputable depths of Wikipedia. My university tutors would be so proud.

“Ego” is a Latin and Greek word meaning “I” and is often used to mean the “self”, “identity”, and other related concepts.” – Wikipedia

For most I believe that definition seems a little vague and it’s one of those words in which you know what it is, but have a difficult time explaining exactly what it is. We all have one, but  I’m sure one time or another we have heard “Oh, don’t they have a big ego?” and we generally associate that as being a bad or unattractive thing. No one likes that person who is so up themselves that they can see their own food being digested. We associate people with “egos” as having an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Keeping in mind we all have an ego. It’s just they vary in size from person to person, and depending on the situation can be helpful or detrimental.

Now having an ego, can be a dangerous thing, especially when it’s so inflated that you start levitating. Let’s take the gym for example (because that’s where I learn EVERYTHING). There are two types of egos that can be witnessed.

The first are the “wankers”. I’m not even going to sugar coat it because we have probably all seen these guys, whether it be in the enclosure of the gymnasium, or out in the wild public. They wear their egos for the world to see. The wanker is fairly easy to spot. Just observe its walk. The wanker walk is characterised by a fully erect spine, an extremely proud chest which is further advertised by the pulling back of the shoulders. This is accompanied by the exaggerated lateral arm flair which would assimilate a mammal who thought it had wings but had no idea how to flap them. Now add a standard strutted walk and you have the wanker walk. These are the guys who thing they are king shit. Who think they are cock of the walk and that they are the greatest thing since squats and oats.

The second are the “humbles”. I call them this because they come from humble beginnings. They just want to build some muscle, or get their abs showing. More often than not they are the guys who are the newer of the gym goers. They are just doing their thing, getting comfortable with the gym and are getting a taste of the lifting experience. But even the humble humbles are not immune to the aura of the ego. These are the guys to whom wish to speak to. Now let’s say you are doing your thing. You have your lifting plan, and are working the plan like a champ. Next thing you see (and hear) are the wildebeest moans of a wanker, throwing around some ungodly weight that you have trouble even counting to.

You look at his weight, and then back at your weight. You look at his weight again, and back to your weight. Where are you? You’re in your ego, and it’s playing tennis, back and forth. Do you play with your “childs” weight, or do you upgrade to “man” weight? “I can lift that” you tell yourself as you approach the weight. Your hands are shaking but your ego tells you it’s from excitement, so you fear nothing for you are a man. You grab and pick the weight up. Two tickets to Gainsville you tell yourself. Look again, the tickets are now a deliciously regrettable injury. You my friend, have just injured your back and are out of the game for 6 weeks minimum. Plenty of time for your ego to recover from the stitches it  acquired from its laughing fit.

Light weight baby!

Now I myself am guilty of being a “humble” at one point or another. It was not until I injured myself that the phrase “check your ego at the door” really hit home. Since then, I stick to my routine and do not lift beyond what I know I can lift. I don’t care if Egosaurus Rex is lifting the entire gym up, or if the obligatory dolled up female gym bunny who can wear a pair of yoga pants to the absolute limit walks past. I stick to what I can do and do it well.

Let’s apply this information to the real world.

Now remember everyone has an ego, it’s just some people’s egos are the size of an earthworm, and others are the size of the Earth. Becuase the ego isn’t a “physical” thing does not mean it canot have consequenccens to your everyday life. Your ego might be hurting you without you even knowing it. It might be hurting your chances at a job promotion. Or your chances with that girl or guy you like. It might be hurting friendships because there is not enough room for you and your ego. People can pick out those who they think have egos the size of Mars in an instant and they are going to treat you in different ways according to their “ego meters”. Now without you even saying or acting, you are closing doors and opportunities without you even realising it. Your potential is being limited. What wonderful life experiences are you missing out on, all because you put yourself so high upon a pedestal. You are no different or better than anyone else. We all breathe the same, we all bleed the same. The only person you should be competing with is yourself. The only person you should be trying to beat today, is the person of yesterday. So for the sake of everyone else, and yourself, perhaps take that ego down a few notches. The world will thank you.

Check that ego at the door dudes and dudettes.

– Sash

Being grateful is great!

So I’m at work and the sound of bickering fills the air. Complaining about the most mundane things you can think of. Even my work colleague who has 30 minutes left of her shift is moaning about how tired she is and how much she wants to go home.  The moment she says this gaze is drawn to a man. A man who is struggling to walk, as it looks like he was born with a hip deformity. Equipped with a cane he waddles past at a speed that could rival a snail and I just have to stare and pity him. Soon after, a woman in a wheelchair rolls past (no pun intended) followed by regular customer. Another lady but this time with a major kyphosis of her thoracic spine (think a hunchback pushing a trolley). I then look at my colleague as she finishes staring as well, and her tone is changed to stun silence, accompanied by a face of guilt. It pained me to see these people live with such discomforts, but at the same time I am glad they were there to serve as a reminder to my colleague and myself that we have absolutely nothing to complain about. We have our health and that is the most important thing in the world. Without our health, we have nothing.

This has really hit home with me after my grandmother suffered a stroke. It left her unable to walk or talk and she will not be able to recover from it. Can you imagine, your entire life, being blessed by the ability to walk and talk and then having that just taken away from you? It’s disgusting, cruel and tragic. Not being able to communicate vocally. Relying on nothing but head nods. Being unable to express your love or appreciation. Unable express your emotions because you are unable to move the muscles of your face.

This is my EVERYTHING face!

Or not being able to walk. You can no longer go to the bathroom yourself.  You can no longer wash yourself. You can’t walk to the fridge to grab some food. You can’t even devour food yourself because your hands don’t work and your mouth struggles to move. You can no longer hug anyone. Can you imagine being unable to do all this stuff? It’s enough to make you cry.

How often do you hear people complaining of their physical pain? Can you imagine what those who are paralysed, or missing a limb would give to be able to feel that pain again? How happy they would be? There would be enough tears of joy to rid the world of thirst!

A common complaint from people is they don’t make enough money. I’m sure you have heard it before. In my eyes, a finically poorer person with their health is richer than the financially richer person with poorer health. I know a big stressor in people’s lives is their work, or their need to make more money, and that is all well and good. But I urge you to think about you are trading your health for.

Let’s look at it from a different perspective. When you’re hungry, what is the only thing you want? When you’re tired, what is the only thing you want? What about when you’re horny? What about when you’re sick? I’m sure when you’re making hourly donations from every entry and exit of your body to the porcelain express that you are not thinking “Gosh darnnit, I was I making some money right now.” You want nothing more than to just get better. That’s it.

WHERE IS ALL MY MONEY?!

Tonight I know I am grateful for:A friend of mine suggested something when I was feeling that I didn’t have enough and I invite you do the same. Grab a diary, specifically for this. This is now your Daily Gratitude Diary. Every night before bed to right down three things that you are grateful for.

1)      My ability to walk

2)      My ability to talk

3)      My ability to use my hands

Last night I was grateful for :

1)      My mother and sister

2)      Being able to drive

3)      Being strong enough to lift weights

Remember, being grateful is great and if you are grateful for something or someone, tell them.

So what are you grateful for?

– Sash 

 

You know that thing you think you want? You don’t need it!

“The world has enough for everyone’s need, but not enough for everyone’s greed” –  Mahatama Ghandi

Read that piece of wisdom by Ghandi again and let it sink into the confines of your cortex. Really think about it. Now look around you. If you are sitting in the comfort of your abode glance around the room. 180 degree head spin that neck. If you’re outside in the park, focus your eye balls on people walking by. Notice the things they wear and carry with them. If you’re chucking a dump in a public toilet………..ok you get the drift. Just look around the damn place and do some observing.

What do you see? If you’re the house dweller, do you see that decoration? Do you see that lovely silver framed picture on the wall? Do you see that jewellery or bling (whatever kids are calling it these days) on your dresser? If you’re in the park, do you see what people are wearing? Do you see the mp3 players, the iPods, the laptops, the suits, the Nike Frees, the time pieces, the fashion? If you’re on the toilet………no need to look around and especially not down. You know what’s there. You created it you wonderful artist you.

You see all that stuff? You don’t need it. I mean, you don’t REALLY need it. In fact, it probably causes you more trouble than what you paid for it.

Let’s go back to Ghandi, that wise and sexy man. The world has enough for everyone’s need. So what are everyone’s needs? I would say we strip down to the bare minimum basics that would allow us to survive. So what does that leave us with? If you are thinking about your car, your jewellery or your iPhone, you my friend have a long way to go. In fact, get over here so I can give you a paddling, with this paddle, that I don’t even need.

Sex and wisdom personified. What a man!

 I myself would say the three things that we, as humans, NEED to survive are food (including water), shelter, and clothing. That’s it. That is all we need to survive.

Let’s go over these things in case they are not convincing enough.

1) Food (and water): Really? I need to explain this one? Oh, and pro tip for anyone who is has the choice between choosing food or water to survive a drought, or a deserted island, choose the water. You’ll live longer.

2) Shelter: This one too is obvious however may need further clarification. We need shelter to protect ourselves from predators, mother nature and the elements, consumerism, One Direction (jokes, but seriously I dig one of their songs at the moment. But if you tell anyone, I will have to maim you) etc. Without this protection, we perish.

3) Clothing: Clothing is necessary, also for protection from the elements, and keeping warm when need be. And when I talk clothing, I’m not talking about your designer label handbag and other over the top crap (YEAH I SAID IT) that serves no other purpose than to hold other crap you don’t need.

As far as I’m concerned if you have anything that does not fall into these three categories, you do not need them to survive. Anything else is just pure luxury, that probably only serves the purpose of entertaining you as you waddle through the week, thinking about how you will be spending your most precious commodity (which is time, not money. If you thought money, get over here. My paddle is getting cold) on more stuff you don’t need.

Ok, I grant you that this line of thinking might be outdated, and we live in a world and society too advanced to just need these three things. Sure those three things still apply, but depending on where you live I would say there are certain things that you probably need to survive in your environment. Off the top of my head I would say perhaps a phone, purely for communication purposes. Not a bloody smartphone that has the internet, and games, and applications that tell you what your star sign is, or when it’s time for you to go to the bathroom, or if that guy/girl likes you, or your estimated date that you will die on and all that other bullshit. Just a phone that allows you to talk with another person. That’s it. That is probably the only thing that I could add to the list, although you don’t REALLY need it. I’m sure Ghandi, in all he’s enlightened and meditative thinking doesn’t consider the phone as a NEED and I will now need to prepare for the onslaught of paddling that is to follow. Be gentle sweet Ghandi.

Your punishment? The paddling of the swollen ass. With paddles!

Now I’m guilty myself of owning things that I don’t need to just survive, for example this computer I’m on, and this keyboard I am using to rant about this subject, and this printer, and this desk, and this calendar. This is all luxury stuff. This is all for entertainment, although the purpose of this piece of writing is to open some eyes and invite you to think about these sorts of things in a different light.

We live in such a consumerist society that is advertising all this crap we don’t need as a necessity of life. Do you really need those designer jeans with the cuts and bleach marks and the designers name printed on your ass? Do you really need that luxury car with bluetooth, and DVD player, and TV screens popping out the back off the seats, and a rear parking video camera? JUST TURN YOUR DAMN HEAD AROUND YOU LAZY GIT! Do you really need that piece of jewellery to make yourself feel beautiful? You already are. Wearing a piece of overpriced sparkle isn’t going to make you comfortable in your own skin. Self confidence will. No piece of an element from the earth is going to.

This car is oozing so much luxury it f*cking flies!

Ok, I grant you that this line of thinking might be outdated, and we live in a world and society too advanced to just survive on the basics. But I invite you to think about what and where you are spending your money (but more importantly, your time to earn that money) on. Instead of that luxury car, down grade. Do you really need four bedrooms? Do you really need five hundred thousand carat diamonds? Do you really need that smartphone? Do you really need that watch that could pay for a person’s education, or better yet, help someone who is struggling to even get the three basics?

So the next time you want to buy something, or think that you need to, really ask yourself this:

“Do I REALLY need that?”

I think you may be surprised.

– Sash

Grab your umbrella: Brain explosion imminent!

Warning: This is going be to a non linear piece of thinking where there might be no conclusion or final questions. It’s going to be pure mental mush that is plaguing my brain and I feel if I do not let it out, my brain will literally explode with such force that it will burst out of my cranium in all directions. The result being  nothing but a fleshy heap of brain, blood and fluids painted over the walls and saturating house hold items which are not covered by brain explosion insurance.  If you don’t wish to expand your way of thinking, and are content in the comforts of the familiar then I urge you to flee.

Quite possibly your brain after reading this!

These are the usual thoughts of myself during the time I spend in the workplace. You have been warned!

Have you ever just stopped what you were doing, and just looked into blank space? You just space out, time seems to slow down. You notice things you never noticed before. You become aware of your limbs. You become aware of your breathing. The way your chest expands, and if you hold it, the pressure in your lungs, and then you exhale and your body relaxes. You may even hunch over a little because you are so relaxed. And then you focus on things that are moving. People, carrying things. Wearing things. Moving their bodies in a direction, in a way that is unique to their body shape. You feel the air of the person that just walked by your still body. That THING just moved past me. And then let’s hypothetically say you are somewhere you don’t want to be, like your job for instance (because I assume most dislike their jobs, and if you don’t then I am both happy and envious of you).

Now you are still in the state of enhanced consciousness. Things are moving slowly. You are becoming aware of everything. It seems the whole world is just on auto pilot. Now you question things. Why am I here? Not “here” as in this shopping centre, packing bags for other things, or monitoring these people things so they properly use these self service things and don’t steal these consumable things and pay for these things with this money thing! But why am I here? Why do I exist? Why am I here? And I’m not talking about your life’s purpose. I’m talking about why are we physically here? HOW, are we physically here?

“Well you see we are made up of molecular structures, and they form the physical being that is you.”

YES, I KNOW THAT PROFESSOR SCIENCE, BUT WHY? HOW?

How am I alive right now? How is my body functioning? How is it that my heart is beating? How is it that I am seeing things, that are moving, that see me too? How am I moving my arms? My brain? How the hell is my brain telling me to do these things? Electrical impulses? How is it that my brain is controlling these impulses, so that I may move my body? How does it THINK to move it in that certain way? What creates that thought? That pure, unique thought. How is it that a mushy piece of tissue is able to create this thought? Does it even create the thought? Where does the thought come from? Is the thought already there? Is this idea just laying dormant in all peoples brain mush and the right stimulus needs to applied so that thought can be manifested into physical action?

What is causing the thought, that is moving my fingers in such a way, with such speed and purpose as to push certain keys on this slab of keys so that I create these words. Why am I even creating these words? To communicate? HOW DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND THESE WORDS? This string of oddly shaped lines that are put next to each other in a particular fashion or pattern so that you “know” or “understand” what meaning I am trying to communicate. DOES THIS BLOW ANYONE ELSE’S MIND? And what about communicating in general? How is it that the thoughts that happen in the brain (I assume that’s where it happens) move the muscles of your mouth, in such a way that the mouth opens, and then emits a sound in different tones and frequencies, and then you are able to hear that, and then some how decipher meaning from it? And then act or react in a particular way depending on how I moved my mouth, to emit a sound (with meaning) that came from a pattern of electrical impulses in the brain to manifest an idea from pure imagination into physical being.

Imagination: Get it in you!

*gasps for air*

Much needed intermission: So how about peanut butter and banana on toast? Pretty radical and delicious, right? Damn it tastes so good it should be illegal.

*takes a deep breath in…..*

AND WHERE DID THAT IMAGINATION COME FROM TO DETERMINE THAT PATTERN OF ELECTRICAL IMPULSES? What is imagination? It’s not this physical thing you can touch. It’s just…..WHAT IS IT? NOTHING, BUT IT EXISTS! How amazing is that? How is it that you are able to create something, from literally nothing? Imagination, sparks the thought, thought manifests into action, action makes things happen. ISN’T THAT……GAH! Where is the location of this imagination? What is motivating that imagination? Who or what is driving it to think what it thinks? GAH, MY BRAIN HURTS!

Isn’t it amazing though? We know so much, and yet so little about everything. We can’t even explain the things that we do. Or why they are there, or how they came to be. And people can go about their day and not even worry about it.

“Oh that’s just a light bulb. That’s just a mobile phone. That’s just a computer.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? JUST A LIGHT BU…..?..RRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *flips the metaphorical table*. Do you know how amazing the whole concept behind those inventions are? It’s mind boggling. The science behind it. THE IMAGINATION BEHIND IT! Like, what caused Thomas Edison’s mind to think in such a way that constructed that invention? Go and search how a light bulb works, and it will blow your mind at how complex  the science behind it is. Someone’s imagination conjured up that invention……from nothing. From pure nothing (that we assume takes place within the brain, our big, ugly, mushy, fleshy brain that swims in brain juices) something amazing has been brought to the physical realm that we can see, and touch, and hear, and smell. AND WE CAN’T EVEN EXPLAIN WHERE IMAGINATION COMES FROM!

Enjoy the light, you filthy animals!

Gah! Amazing!

I leave you there, with hopefully enough of your brain and sanity intact so that you may go about the rest of your day, doing the things that you do, with your delicious brains.

But I do hope this opens your mind a little. To see the world of unexplained things behind the world that you can only physically see. Appreciate the mystery behind it all but also be more weary that there is more going on behind the curtains than you think. But don’t be afraid to explore that mysterious world. Be that annoying child again who doesn’t stop asking “BUT WHY?”

But don’t be that annoying kid right now, as my brain is the consistency of sloppy porridge right now and any question you ask me would responded by a blank face, porridge foaming from my half opened mouth.

– Sash

Weight training: The greatest thing since peanut butter! Part 1

Weight training is the greatest thing that has happened to me. I should just stop writing now and leave because that’s all I want to say. But I’m not! I’m going to tell you why whether you like it or not.

What the hell is weight training? In a nut shell, you pick up a piece of object and put it down. Then you pick that mofo up again, and put him back down again. Repeat this process until your back gives out, our arms fall off, or you die. Simple! Hard! Beautiful!

To some that might seem hard, unappealing, boring and repetitive which is totally understandable. Those who think this way don’t fully understand what weight training is. In fact, a fair judgement of something cannot be fully justified until that person making the judgement has actually experienced that which he/she is judging first hand, by doing it. At first glance, to the untrained eye all that is seen is a person moving an object in a certain direction many many times. But to someone who is doing it. Who is getting among it. It is a whole other world.

Weight training has taught me so much about life, and about myself. It has taught me that when things get hard, when things get uncomfortable, you have the choice to keep going, or to stop. And depending on what you choose will tell you something about yourself. I remember when I was doing squats one time. I had loaded a weight that I found extremely challenging onto my back. I wanted to squat down and up 8 times. That was my goal.

For those who live a sheltered life and do not know what a squat, never fear, for I have summoned a picture!

The back squat! Revel in its glory and simplicity!

1…..2…..3………..4……….

I start fatiguing………5……..

My legs start shaking, vein throbbing out of my neck, eyes beginning to blood shot, my body starting to lean more forward as I tire……

5.5……………….6 as I grind up the dirtiest looking squat I’ve ever done. I rack the weight up. A bellowing “FUCK!” echoes throughout the gymnasium. Two repetitions off my goal. A swirl of emotions run through my head. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Internal voices in my head tell me I’m weak. Memories of past failures start flooding my brain and I start associating myself with those failures because I failed here in this moment……yet again. Needless to say the rest of my training session was shouse (shit-house). I couldn’t let it go that I failed on my main lift of the day. And in great Sash fashion I go home, and eat my anxiety, frustration and sadness away. I even go so far as to have a pathetic nap. Blinds closed. Door locked. Retreating to the shadows of solitude and submitting myself to the abyss of my own self-loathing. (HOW DRAMATIC, POETIC AND PATHETIC).

Later that day I leave my cave and lose myself in the world of Youtube. Weightlifting motivational clips are on the menu and it doesn’t take long before I pack my gym bag and walk back to the gym. This time, my mind is in a different place. I’m still angry from the previous failure. So angry that I tell myself that I am not going to stop squatting until I squat that same weight 10 times. The bar is not going to leave my back until I do 10. I was so angry that I was honestly willing to die to get 10. If I couldn’t commit myself to this one thing 100% then I don’t deserve to be here. Sounds a bit extreme and over the top right? Probably, but that is how much this meant to me.

Headphones in. Angry music blasting my ear drums.

1….2…..3….4…………….5

Fatigue kicking in. Legs shaking. I start talking to myself. Calling myself a coward. A pussy. 

6………………..7………………

I’m yelling. “COME ON YOU FUCK!” Face as red as a tomato. “NO MATTER WHAT!”

…………8…………….”TWO MORE!”

………………………………..9..”ONE MORE YOU FUCK! COMMIT TO IT!”

The next 10 secs of my life were the longest 10 seconds I’ve every experienced. Strength coaches would be having nightmares about how bad the form was. I grind the weight up for my 10th repetition. Rack it up, and then fall to the ground. I then start crying like a baby. Nervous laughter and tears fill the gym. I can only imagine people thought I was nuts but it didn’t matter. I was so in the moment that I just let it out as I stared at the ceiling of the gym, legs on fire, shaking as if my thighs had been removed from my pelvis and I was going into shock.

What I was feeling more than anything in that moment was relief. Not relief from knowing that the set was over. Not relief from knowing that I didn’t have to go through that pain again. But relief from knowing that I was still able to accomplish something I set my mind to. Relief from knowing that if I give it everything I have, I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. All I have to do is be willing to put in the effort, have the drive to do it, and have the courage to follow through with it till the end, no matter what happens or how hard it gets.

That is one thing that weight training has taught me about life. The big thing is the attitude that you walk into the gym with. The attitude you walk into life with. The gym has trained my body but also my mind, to take my body out of it’s comfort zone, and this attitude has carried over into my life. I must take my body out of its comfort zone. I must take my mind out of its comfort zone. I must take MYSELF out of my comfort zone if I am to truly grow and see what I am capable of achieving.

Life is like that squat session. Weight is on your shoulders, and starts bringing you down. Now you have the choice whether to stay down, or get back up and learn to live with that weight. The further you go into the set, the harder it gets, as with life. But you will always have the choice whether you stay down, or rise. And even if you fall short, if you go into it giving it everything you have then you have not failed. To attempt that extra repetition even when you don’t know what will happen takes courage. Courage to take the leap, to go down with the weight and not come back up, but knowing you tried anyway. That attitude right there is what life is all about. I didn’t learn that from a personal development book, or a motivational speaker. I may have heard it from those sources but I didn’t really know or understand it until I was really in that world, doing it myself.

I encourage everyone who is able to weight train and see what you learn about yourselves. I encourage you to not judge by face value, but only judge when you truly know it, until you have experienced it.

Now go out there and see what you are capable of. And of course:

 

– Sash

 

To trust, or not to trust!

HE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!

Trust!

Reliance on another person. Trust seems to be an integral part of life. Without trust in other, how could you expect to things to get done. I assume there are different types of trust. For example you trust the trolley man or the garbage man to come and remove and relocate trolleys or garbage to a more desirable location so we don’t have to worry about it. But then you can trust someone keep your deepest, darkest and most embarrassing secrets. One can even trust another with their life. It would seem trust is necessary in order to survive and flourish.

On the other hand, not trusting people has its own survival and flourishing attributes. Not trusting a untrustworthy person could save you from making grave mistakes. Sometimes it’s not the best idea to tell gossip hungry harpies the inner workings of your relationship. Next thing you know you’re walking down the street and someone asks you what you did to cure your foot fungus.Reliance on another person. Trust seems to be an integral part of life. Without trust in other, how could you expect to things to get done. I assume there are different types of trust. For example you trust the trolley man or the garbage man to come and remove and relocate trolleys or garbage to a more desirable location so we don’t have to worry about it. But then you can trust someone keep your deepest, darkest and most embarrassing secrets. One can even trust another with their life. It would seem trust is necessary in order to survive and flourish.

But then there is a third hand. What would be the implications of not trusting a trustworthy person? Would you be shooting yourself in the foot? Would you be closing potential opportunities for personal growth and development? Not trusting keeps you safe from the potential threat of pain or embarrassment..

Now why the hell did I bring up this topic? I have trust issues.

Why?

To make a long story short, when I was in my teenage years my father thought it would be a good idea to stop thinking with his brain and start thinking with an alternative appendage. An even greater idea would be to add 4 additional step siblings to the mix. For obvious reasons I like to dissociate myself from people who’s dick and brain have swapped roles.

Weird thought – Imagine if your brain was the shape of a penis and your penis (when applicable) was the shape of your brain……….food for thought when your mind is bored.

Anyway, after that said experience I had trusting issues. How could I trust anyone if I couldn’t even trust my own father? I still had trust in my mother and sister, but even that wasn’t 100%. Carry this mis-trusting attitude to future (and now past) relationships. How do you think they turned out? Terrible! It’s not that they were bad relationships where they stood and the people in them were not bad. In fact they are some of the most amazing, trustworthy people I’ve met. The reason they ended terribly is because I didn’t trust them 100%. They trusted me, but I fell short in the trust department. As people may or may not know, but the person who trusts less (or consequently invests less emotion into the relationship) holds more power in the relationship.

Why?

Because the person who has invested more has more to lose. If you don’t trust someone 100%, if you don’t emotionally invest into the relationship 100% then when that relationship is on the ropes, it’s easier for the less invested person to cut their loses and move on than it is for the person who has invested so much. What makes things even worse is if it is the less invested person who initiates the breaking up. They have protected themselves with two shields: the mistrusting shield and the break up initiation shield. Combine these to together and you will end up with one person in heartbreaking pain, and the other one seemingly unscathed. What kind of heartless prick would do such a thing, let alone more than once?

One who does not trust and one who is not willing to trust. Who’s walls are so high that no one could get in.

A person who enters a relationship knowing they won’t fully trust the other is selfish. They might have the purest intentions, wishing not to hurt the person, but ultimately that is exactly what is being set up. Over time a relationship develops, emotions strengthen, respect is earned, and love has a chance to blossom. This, however, can only manifest when both parties are comfortable enough to fully trust each other. A relationship cannot flourish on a foundation of mis-trust. This will only lead to failure and pain in the end.

So the question remains, should one allow themselves to fully trust another? Being emotionally closed off has the benefit of negating or reducing the chance or the amount of pain when experienced, but in the end is that really the wisest choice?

I am coming to realise that it probably not. By not trusting, your inner wall works both ways. Not only does it not let anyone in, but it doesn’t let anybody out. You yourself are trapped. You are unable to fully express your raw, unperfect self in all its glory. If you are not trusting, then you are not being 100% yourself. In terms of relationships, you are not giving that relationship a fair shot at being something great. You are denying yourself a crucial element of what it means to be in a relationship; trusting another enough to express yourself fully, without fear of ridicule or embarrassment. You are short changing the experiences that you potentially could be having, due to the fear of pain. You are denying yourself the opportunity to grow as a person, because without some pain, without some pressure, there is no growth. There is no need to grow.

“Hey look over there…….HAPPINESS!”

This is not to say seek pain out in a relationship, but have the courage to take the step to trust someone fully. If pain happens, it happens. Come back stronger from it. But one shouldn’t deny themselves the opportunity to be able to be themselves with another, irregardless of what might happen. If you’re so focused on what MIGHT happen in the future, you are already taking away from the most important time of your life; the present, the right now, the thing right in front of your damn face!

I feel it might be time to start dismantling this wall. It may take a while, seeing as it is as high as Everest but if I chip away at it brick by brick, one day I’m sure I’ll be able to see the world that I’ve denied myself.

Paralysis by analysis!

One big problem I have is I think too much.

How can that be bad? If you think about things you would make great decisions. You wouldn’t just dive into something blind. You would be prepared for anything. That sounds magnificent! DOES IT? DOES IT REALLY? Maybe that does sound good, to a certain degree. But when you combine this with a perfectionist attitude, thinking is all you are doing, literally.

Here in lies my problem. There are so many thoughts, so many ideas, that I get stuck. My mind is like an old computer, running on a processor made of wood and is powered by a hamster wheel. It can’t process every single thing on my mind, let alone at the same time. The moment 2 or 3 things pop into may head summons the blue screen of death and I shut down, literally. I will go stun silent, blank faced and cold. Upon mental reboot I succumb to basic habits such as eating, sleeping, video gaming or movie watching. Running away from the problem. Procrastinating. And then what makes it worse is my awareness and then failure to act upon it. Anxiety and depression kick in and then I shut down. Reboot, and the whole process starts again. This will happen four times a day. Geez, wouldn’t be great if I could just my brain off for good?

Enter inner monologue: “NO, BECAUSE THEN YOU ARE RUNNING AWAY FROM THE PROBLEM AGAIN YOU COWARD!”

Shut down, reboot, devouring of food, procrastinate.

Let’s say I recover from a reboot semi-well, and by semi-well I mean that I decide not to eat, and procrastinate. Let’s say I have an idea, for example making a Youtube channel where I post videos. Or I read a book. Or write something. Let’s say I have these ideas and I go through preliminary steps to get things rolling. Great! That’s awesome!

Enter inner monologue: “Don’t forget this, this is really important to make this thing you are working on be good. It’s not really as good as this persons one. Oh that’s the same idea as this person, and they do it well. You don’t even know how to do this, and that!”

Well………SHIT!

Shut down, reboot, devouring of food, procrastinate.

Defeated by my own mind before it even gets started. I convince myself that it is not good enough to start, so I don’t end up starting. I just think, and think, and think, and (disclaimer; I swear a lot when I’m angry/frustrated/anxious. I’m working on it) FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT. And then I’ll retire to some easy task that won’t contribute to me being a better or more successful person, just to make myself feel better. WHAT A BRAVE MAN! COURAGE JUST OOZES FROM MY BODY! WATCH YOUR STEP BECAUSE YOU MIGHT SLIP FROM ALL THE COURAGE OOZE!

Intra-self reflection moment: “Boy I bitch and moan a lot.”

I feel this is part of the process. There is just so much built up energy and frustration that I need to get it out some how. And I suppose this is a good exercise for me to combat my perfectionist ways. The problem with being an overthinking perfectionist is that nothing gets done……..ever. PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS (solid title tie in).

So this piece of crap, raw, unedited wall of brain vomit and irrational emotion is probably the best thing to combat my perfectionist ways. I suppose it shows courage in a way. The courage to just put it out there regardless of how good (OR insufferably bad) it is and just work from there. Just start SOMETHING and work from there instead of waiting to start with the perfect foundation because the perfect foundation might never come, and you would just be stuck there, thinking about it and not being about it.

Intra-typing idea: A blog post every day……for a year……(fuck). Nope, I typed it now I have to make it come to pass. So starting today that is 360 blog posts MINIMUM! It doesn’t matter if I don’t feel like, as long as I post SOMETHING. Get in the habit, get it done.

Exit inner monologue.

In conclusion (HO, how academic and articulate did that sound?), “Just do it!” (Nike, circa 19whenever). I pose this challenge to myself, and invite the overthinking perfectionists, or anyone for that matter to just do it. Just start SOMETHING, and have the courage to follow through with it. Don’t be paralysed by your thoughts. Don’t worry if it’s not perfect. Don’t worry if it isn’t polished. Worry that all your ideas won’t come to pass because you thought they were not good enough. Have some faith in your idea and stick by it and see where it takes you.

This is what I am doing right now!

See you tomorrow, Mr Less Perfectionist than yesterday.

– Sash